Disappointment and Forgiveness

I wrote earlier today that I believed that the people who loved me the most would always be just a little disappointed in the person that I am. After I wrote that, I realized that even if that is so, under any circumstances that would have been the case.

After that honeymoon period in any relationship is over, each person in a relationship begins to discover the flaws and imperfections in the other person, that they hadn't seen originally. I am not perfect. My wife and my kids and my friends, none of them are perfect either. And neither are any of you who read this post.

Once I was able to get past the irritation I experienced because of the little quirks and flaws that my wife possessed, I was simply able to accept my wife for who she was. And after a time, I began to realize that some of her qualities that initially drove me nuts, were actually very strong and positive attributes. For those qualities which still came across as flaws, I simply allowed that that was who she was and I still loved her for who she was, flaws and all. My wife was having to deal with the same feelings about me. And each of us was even able to forgive ourself for not being perfect. Loving someone and being loved in return makes life a lot easier to get through.

With us, it is not always sweetness and light. Things can get downright testy sometimes. But that just goes with the territory of being married. Because we do love each other and do care about each other, when our emotions settle down, we can forgive and forget and make up. The part about making up is not all that bad and can be downright good, in fact.

Because I am coming out of what has been a really difficult two months, I have had to deal with a lot of uncertainties and concerns. I have not always been able to get immediately past the emotional lows that I sometimes experience, during such times. But no matter what might happen to us, because we know and love each other... because I trust her to be there for me and I for her when that is where we are, then we know that together we are going to get through this rough patch just as we have gotten through bad times in the past. We now know that things are never as bad as we think they are going to be, nor are they as good as we wish they were.

As I have been something of a drama king lately, I can ease off of presenting that persona to the world. I don't have a lot of patience with drama kings and queens. I really don't see why anyone should put up with me when I am behaving like that. Even my best friend must have finally found that to be just a little to much to deal with, even coming from me. He is having to deal with his own problems at this moment. People can and should be expected to be forgiving of what we dish out, only up to a reasonable point.

I guess I am well along the way to recovering from what has been bedeviling me lately. I have used my own particular strategy to work through this period. I am very pleased that whatever it was I did worked. Pretty soon my family and my friends will be able to breathe a genuine sigh of relief, because I suspect that my/our situation will be a lot less stressful and that I will be a lot more pleasant to be around. As to how I feel about things right now, Shakespeare said it better than I ever could: "All's well that ends well."