Sam and Emma: A Love Story in Emails - 12
From: Emma Landauer
To : Sam T.
February 8, 2006
My Dearest Sam,
I got the job at the clinic. You know, the one where I got some bad vibes when I visited it. I have not been here very long but already I am getting a really bad feeling about being here. The dentist who owns the place really blows hot and cold. And she is very good at blaming someone else for what goes wrong at the clinic and for chewing out people for things which are not all that important, when she is in a really foul mood. She has been getting on me because I am not working fast enough. I have always been cautious and slow because you know I am so very afraid of making a mistake. So I am beginning to catch a lot of hell.
And then all of the sudden she changes and she becomes this nice person and she wants me to have dinner with her and spend time with her. So long as I go along with her wishes, she is okay. When I say I can't, it starts all over again. Then it is my clothes... much too youngish for me and she blames it on my living for so long in America. Dresses, not slacks, she says. And she gets on me about my work all over again. I am really being nice if I call her a bitch.
I don't know how to fight back. I give in to her just to get her off my back and almost every night now she demands I spend time with her and her family. The few friends I have here are very angry with me now because I am letting her do this to me. I really hate myself. I have no control over my life and I let people like HER make me feel so bad.
I need the money so I have to have to keep this job for now. I don't go to the gym much anymore because it makes HER mad, so I try to go when I can, but it gets harder to find time to go to the gym.
I am starting to hit myself again. I am getting home late almost every night now and not sleeping well. What have I gotten myself into? The way things are I cannot escape from this. Once again I am stuck in a very bad place. I really hate this and myself.
Please keep writing, my sweet kind Sam. You are always there for me. I can count on that. I do love you so much. I know that you love me and that really helps me when I start beating myself up. Please write me soon.
Love and kisses,
Emma
To be continued....
To : Sam T.
February 8, 2006
My Dearest Sam,
I got the job at the clinic. You know, the one where I got some bad vibes when I visited it. I have not been here very long but already I am getting a really bad feeling about being here. The dentist who owns the place really blows hot and cold. And she is very good at blaming someone else for what goes wrong at the clinic and for chewing out people for things which are not all that important, when she is in a really foul mood. She has been getting on me because I am not working fast enough. I have always been cautious and slow because you know I am so very afraid of making a mistake. So I am beginning to catch a lot of hell.
And then all of the sudden she changes and she becomes this nice person and she wants me to have dinner with her and spend time with her. So long as I go along with her wishes, she is okay. When I say I can't, it starts all over again. Then it is my clothes... much too youngish for me and she blames it on my living for so long in America. Dresses, not slacks, she says. And she gets on me about my work all over again. I am really being nice if I call her a bitch.
I don't know how to fight back. I give in to her just to get her off my back and almost every night now she demands I spend time with her and her family. The few friends I have here are very angry with me now because I am letting her do this to me. I really hate myself. I have no control over my life and I let people like HER make me feel so bad.
I need the money so I have to have to keep this job for now. I don't go to the gym much anymore because it makes HER mad, so I try to go when I can, but it gets harder to find time to go to the gym.
I am starting to hit myself again. I am getting home late almost every night now and not sleeping well. What have I gotten myself into? The way things are I cannot escape from this. Once again I am stuck in a very bad place. I really hate this and myself.
Please keep writing, my sweet kind Sam. You are always there for me. I can count on that. I do love you so much. I know that you love me and that really helps me when I start beating myself up. Please write me soon.
Love and kisses,
Emma
To be continued....
posted by hfireman | 9:03 PM
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