Random Conversations - 1
Late one evening, not so long ago, two old friends were enjoying several very nice bottles of Malbac. In the course of the night, they proceeded to ponder the imponderables of life. With each refilled glass of wine, both became increasingly intoxicated and certainly more philosophical as their conversation wandered from one subject to another.
Somewhere in the conversation, around 11 PM or so, the first fellow remarked, "Do you realize that there are places and events in this world that we will never have the opportunity to experience."
His friend looked at him quizzically. "
I don't exactly understand what you mean."
"What I mean is that some of the places I would have very much enjoyed visiting are simply no longer there. Places like The Windows on the World Restaurant, at the World Trade Center. Can you even imagine what it must have been like to sit at a table and look out at the world from the 107th floor of the World Trade Center. That view had to have been breathtaking."
"I suppose so," said his friend.
The first fellow continued. "Are you telling me that if there were such things as time machines, you wouldn't want to go to a place in the past that is gone now? Or to some point in time in the past at which extraordinary things happened?"
His friend swirled the wine in his red bordeaux wine glass and considered the question. He mused to himself that he was thinking with remarkable clarity, given that he had already had 3 or 4 glasses of wine.
"Actually yes there are. I would have liked to have been at the Ed Sullivan Show the night the Beatles first appeared in the US. And it would have been really something if I could have been at the first Woodstock. What else would I have liked to do? I would go back in time and go to London to catch the original West End production of Chicago, the musical, with Ruthie Henshall as Roxie. Or I would go back in time to New York to see Zero Mostel in Fiddler on the Roof or in A Funny Think Happened on the Way to the Forum." He stopped for a moment and looked at the first fellow. "
Okay, those are the places I would go. Where would go? What are the things you would want to have experienced?"
"Good question. Where would I want to go back in time? What would I want to see for myself and experience the moment? First, I think I would like to have been there at Gettysburg, when President Lincoln delivered his famous address there. Then, I would have liked to have been at the Lincoln Memorial when Martin Luther King delivered his I Have a Dream speech.
"And you know what? What I really would have wanted to do was to be in New York on 9/11. Why? I would have wanted to see the people there and the human drama that was going on at that moment. That was a moment in time that changed the world as we know it, and I was somewhere else. I know, mercifully so. But the real drama was there, that day and the days that followed. It is strange, I guess to have wanted to be there in all the turmoil and the chaos and the uncertainty. But of all the places and moments I would like to return to, that would be my first pick."
His friend looked at him didn't say much for a few minutes. "
Now that is crazy. Ablsolutely a crazy idea, even for you. While you are at it, why don't you beam yourself down to the Titanic, the day it sank? That is nuts. You have no idea the danger you would be putting yourself in."
" What would be the point of being there? And anyway, do you really think you could actually handle being there on that day, knowing what you know about what was going to happen? Even now, I am almost brought to tears when I see the videos of the two towers on fire... of the towers collapsing. I almost cannot bear to see the images anymore. And the images of the people falling from the upper stories. And the people running away and the pain in their eyes."
"Look, 9/11 touched us unlike anything that has ever happened to us. That day is never very far away from us. Like it happened yesterday. I would be trying to find something very important if I could go back. I would be looking for the good things we found out about ourselves... the amazing resiliance and generosity that people discover in themselves, when awful things happen to them."
He continued, "At a moment like that, how does one find the strength to simply put one foot in front of the other and get beyond the paralysis that sets in? How does one just get on with the daily things we have to do... to cook a meal or to take out the trash or to put the kids to bed at the end of the day? Where does one find the will to just move on with one's life? And yet the people there did just that. I would want to have been able to mix with those people in New York City on that day and talk to them and to comfort them and to draw on the fierce will they had to keep on living in spite of everything that had happened."
"
Would you mind if I had another glass of wine?" His friend suddenly had become far too sober.
"Does my wanting to return to the day of 9/11 really seem all that irrational?" the first fellow asked.
"
Yes, it does. What I don't understand is why you would want to subject yourself to all the pain you would experience if you did go back to that day. I know that I would be absolutely overwhelmed by everything that would have been happening around me."
"I don't know if I would be able to handle the sadness and the pain that would surround me. But somehow I feel the need to know what that feels like. If one never feels real pain, it is as if one has never really lived. If you have never felt deep loss or grief or deep sadness, how can you truly experience great joy and happiness? It is not a question of subjecting myself to unnecessary pain. How can I understand the human condition if I have never had to endure the pain and the loss and the deprivation that goes along with being human?"
"
And that is something you actually feel the need to experience firsthand? Not me, thank you. I'll pass. Give me my safe, boring suburban existance any day of the week. And since you holding the bottle of Malbac, pour me another glass of wine, please."
The first fellow poured his friend another glass of wine. After he did that, he fell silent for a long moment. "I know that what I would like to do doesn't make a lot of sense. But I have this need to know what it felt like to be there that day. Not just to view it like some sports spectator in the stands, but to have lived that moment myself. Maybe if I could go back, I might begin to understand how such a thing could really happen and what it does to people." He poured himself another glass of wine and said nothing more.
"
You just don't get it, do you? Even if you could go back and be there on 9/11, you couldn't change the outcome. You couldn't make things better for any of those people on the street in New York City. You are the biggest bleeding heart type I know. And, had you been able to go back, nothing that you would have seen and heard would have helped you one iota to make any kind of sense of that terrible day. You know the difference between you and me? I don't work myself up over things I can't do anything about. Sometimes this world really sucks, but when it does, I know when to cut my losses." He finished his wine and put the glass on the table. He got up and found his coat and keys.
With that, the evening sort of played out and his friend left to go home.
After his friend had gone, he finished the last glass of wine, put the wine glass on counter and went over to his bookcase. He took out a collection of photographs of the posters that people put up, after the towers fell, asking, "Have you seen my brother?" or "Missing? If you see my son, call ..."
He leafed through the book and when he reached the point at which he could no longer bear to look at the photos, he put the book on a nearby table and placed his hands to his face and sobbed, experiencing the same overwhelming emotions he had felt on September 11, as if it had just happened yesterday .
