The 110% Rule

What separates those of us who are successes in our lives and those of us who just don't quite achieve the things that we set out to do? As it turns out, the differences are not that huge. But part of the answer lay in our level of commitment to doing whatever it is going to take to achieving our personal goals. One must observe The 110% Rule. That rule states that:

Whatever we set out to do in life, we have to give it everything we have and then some. We should start out by giving 110% of what we are capable of giving in terms of effort, commitment and self-discipline, and then go from there.

What a concept! Setting our starting point at 110%. Too much to ask of anyone, you say? However the truth is that if you look at the true successes of our society, that is exactly the working standard that they set for themselves. The true test of any particular "Truth" is whether or not it actually works in the real world. Ruthie Henshall, one of the brightest stars on Broadway and the West End in London will tell you that it does.

In a letter to her fans, on her website, she wrote,

"There is no sure-fire way to 'make it' in show business, but having talent is probably a good start!...For me, the most important thing you will ever need is commitment. Commitment to being the best you can. Commitment to whatever job you're doing. Commitment, and wanting it more than anything else. For years I did everything I could: shows, charity shows, helping out friends, so for seventeen years I have really given my career my all."

Our society tends to look to the lowest common denominator for its standards. The rock stars of today don't necessarily need to know how to sing or compose or even play an instrument well to go platinum. In this country, the quality of television programming has gone from low to even lower. Cultural literacy in this country has sunk to such all time lows that Jay Leno's Jaywalking feature sadly mirrors the true state of affairs. For many people, this is the standard which they think they should be using as the benchmark for their own lives. Is this really the benchmark that you and I want to be using as we set out to make something of ourselves in this lifetime? I don't think so.

Ruthie Henshall continued:

"I come from a school of training where you do everything full out until told to mark it, and it makes me sad when I see the new school of thought which is mark it until told to do it full out."

Whenever Miss Henshall has performed, you can tell the difference in the quality of her work. For my money, her portrayal of Roxie, in Chicago the Musical, sets the benchmark for how that role should be played. In the show in tribute to Cameron MacIintosh, Hey Mr. Producer, she performed "You Gotta Have a Gimmick', from Gypsy, with such notable performers as Bernadette Peters. Of the three performers, only Miss Henshall was fully in character and fully committed to the song and the dancing was wonderful. In Putting It Together, a revue of the songs of Stephen Sondheim, she performed the song, "More," from the movie, Dick Tracy. Her presentation, her characterization, her singing, her passion, her utter commitment to the character in the song were simply over the top. It was breathtaking to watch her perform. When she says that she starts out with doing everything full out, she means it and that commitment has richly earned her a place as a stellar artist of the musical stage.

We can look at her life and her achievements and get a pretty good sense of what each of us needs to be doing. Ruthie Henshall is but one of so many, many people who have distinguished themselves in the arts, in the sciences, in government, in education and the social sciences. Their lives and their successes exemplify why we must fully make the 110% rule a keystone of our own set of values. This particular rule works best if we can make it a part of our personal credo early in our lives. We can only realize our true potential if we start out with the best that we have to give and then see how much higher we can go from there. If we don't always reach our goals, at least we will have tried. At any rate we will have gone a hell of lot further than we ever thought we would.

This life is not a dress rehearsal. It is the real thing. We have only one shot at becoming the person we were meant to be... at accomplishing the things that we are capable of achieving. So we have to hit the road running. We have to set the starting expectations of ourselves at 110% of what we have to give. Most of all, we have to remember that the only person that we are ever competing with is ourself.

Experiencing Body Worlds 3

The exhibition at the Houston Museum of Science, Body Worlds 3, definitely gave new meaning to the notion that humans must look inside themselves to get a sense of what makes them tick.

I found the whole experience a bit overwhelming. There was too much to absorb in one pass through the exhibition hall. In glass case after glass case, the exhibition explored the marvelous intricacies of the human body from the head to the feet and from outside in and inside out. And then there were the plasticized bodies which presented specific aspects of the human body in the most imaginative of ways.

I came away from this place with a much keener appreciation that the human body is an amazing piece of truly complex engineering. For instance, the hand is a wonderfully designed structure which contains something like 25 or 26 bones, ligaments, tendons and muscles which create one of the signature characteristics of the human body. The hand contains a dense network of blood vessels that keep it supplied. This specific aspect of the human body has enabled man to become a builder and a creator.

In the exhibit, one moves from a section on the skeletal structure to a section on the nervous system. From there one explores the realms of the brain and the circulatory system, with its sturdy pump, the heart. Then there is the skin and the digestive tract. Did you know that the colon, is over 30 feet long. And one must not forget the reproductive organs, sex being such a big deal in the American psyche. Somehow, all these diverse parts fit together to form a human being that walks and breaths and lives.

As I was leaving the exhibit, I was struggling to find some words to express what I was feeling. Frankly, at that moment, I wasn't sure what to feel, because I could not immediately absorb the totality of what I had just seen and experienced. I could not immediately understand what all this information should mean to me or have any sure sense of its significance.

But then, I recalled another aspect of the exhibit. In each of the major sections of the show, healthy tissue was set alongside samples of tissue that were damaged or diseased. A healthy liver was displayed with one which had developed cirrosis of the liver, a result of alcohol abuse. Healthy lungs stood in sharp contrast to the darkened lungs of smokers. A human hip structure showed the ravages of time. As a viewer of these anatomical wonders, I was reminded that our bodies can be severely impacted by disease and that the body is a gift that should not be taken for granted or abused. Figuratively, as creatures, we are not bullet-proof.

Large cloth panels hung from the ceiling. These panels contained wonderful quotations which gave us a perspective on what we were seeing before us. One especially stuck in my mind.

"Anatomical dissection gives the human mind an opportunity to compare the dead with the living, things severed with things intact, things destroyed with things evolving, and opens up the profoundness of nature to us more than any other endeavor or consideration. "
Johann wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), German Poet

I have come away from Body Worlds 3 with a true sense of awe when I consider the human body, now. The human body is something truly amazing in its design. I have this sense that with regard to my own body, I have been given a treasure and that I have been assigned the responsibility to protect and maintain that treasure. There is also an admonition that if I do not or if I foolishly abuse this body in some way, I will pay a fearful price.

Maybe this is exactly what the imaginative individuals, who envisioned this exhibit and who made it a reality, were trying to do. In an age in which there are a thousand different ways to willingly or intentionly damage or injure the human body, that seems to be a definitely worthy objective. Please understand that the human figures presented in many different situations were in their own way entertaining. However, Body Worlds 3 had a more serious purpose than just to entertain. It succeeded at every level.

Sam and Emma: An Epilogue

Sam looked out of the window of the jet as it headed to Bonn, Germany.

The banks of clouds below were clean and white like a field of snow and the sun was shining. As he stared out, he tried to gather his thoughts. "I am being really crazy," he thought to himself.

He was alone now, with his wife gone. Sam had always known that he loved his wife unconditionally and he knew that he needed her to be there to make his own existence complete. Now that she was no longer there, he felt empty and terribly lost.

A few years ago, Sam had almost had an affair. He had been going through a really difficult part of his life and had not been handling things any too well. One thing led to another and he had met someone who had helped him get throught that part of his life. Looking back, he was very thankful that nothing too damaging had happened in the relationship. At the time he would have liked a lot more to have happened. Ah well!

Emma... dear Emma. In her 40's... tall, athletic, beautiful, single... she had captured a part of his heart. From the moment he had met her, he fell in love with her. Well, not exactly fell in love with her, per se. He had fallen in love with the image that he had of her. And that love for her had tormented him, because she wasn't exactly that person he loved. Ah, how we love our illusions.

Emma Landauer had remained single because she was paralyzed by a fear of relationships. What if "this" relationship does not work out in the end, she would ask herself, if her feelings for any particular man got too intense. When Sam had met her, she was involved with a fellow with a huge ego and a really abrasive personality. That is why she stayed with him... the relationship had no possibility to become anything more. And then there was that relationship with the guy who was in the middle of a really nasty divorce and definitely on the rebound. Another deadend choice. And then there was me, he thought to himself.

"For Emma, I was safe. I was married. I was not going to leave my wife. I was kind to her and treated her with consideration like nobody else did. I was safe because there was no possibility that there could really be anything more between us...," Sam thought to himself.

But Sam could also remember the other side of Emma. She could disappear. He needed the sense that she was "there" for him, in the difficult times. And she was not always there. Well... when she was with him at the coffee shop or on the phone with him, she was there. But in the in between times, she was with someone else... several someone elses. Sam figured that was how she kept things manageable for herself. But at the time, when she was not present in the room or on the other end of the phone line, he missed her terribly. And even though he had his own home and his own family, he had felt painfully alone. As loving as Emma could be and as close as he could feel to Emma when he held her fiercely in his arms, he could also feel that at other moments she was distant and disconnected from anyone.

How really strange. After Sam had struggled through a year and a half of his therapy sessions, he had been able to banish his demons. He had also been able to put his relationship with Emma into perspective. Finally being able to rein in his feelings for Emma, he had realized that he was relieved that she had been incapable of allowing their relationship to become more than it had become... that he had never slept with her. And yet, underneath it all, her name and the memories of the time that they had spent together stirred something in his soul long after the time that she had returned to Europe.

Now here he was on a flight to Germany. Only now he was alone and he intensely disliked being alone. When he got there, Emma would be meeting him at the airport. He was thrilled that she would be there. He was also fearful of that as well. It had been almost 13 years since he had last seen her. Today's date was February 11, 2019. And today he would see her again and he would sweep her up into his arms and hold her close again... Sam stopped himself. He was painting a pretty picture of what would happen when he reached his destination.

People change over time. Sam had certainly changed. He had settled down. He had brought focus and order to his life. He had rebuilt his relationship with his wife and his kids. He had become centered. Sam had made his life doable. He had survived the worst years of his life. He had worked out a lot of his issues and emerged still in one piece. He had no idea how time had transformed Emma. There was the fear that maybe she was still the sad, disconnected soul that she had been when he had known her... still the woman whose fear of getting too close to another human being still caused her to walk away from the people she loved the most.

They had written to each other over the years. He still loved her deeply, although he suspected that he loved the Emma that he remembered. Sam had no assurances that she had ever really been that person in reality. She continued to tell him that she very much loved him. But what was real and what was only memories of what he wanted to be the reality? Sam no longer knew.

The captain's voice came over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are preparing for the descent to Bonn. Please fasten your seatbelts. We should be landing in about 20 minutes." The time passed quickly and all too soon, the plane was on the ground, taxiing to the jetway. When the plane stopped and the lights went on in the aircraft, Sam steeled himself for what was to come next. He felt great anticipation and great apprehension. He moved into the aisle and opened up the overhead storage rack. He found his carry-on bag and pulled it down and headed for the exit of the plane.

As he approached the exit, the attractive flight attendant smiled at him. "Thank you for flying Continental Airlines, sir. We hope you had a good flight."

"I did. Thank you very much." Sam returned.

And with that he left the plane and started walking down the jetway. The beat of his heart quickened as he saw Emma standing just beyond in the departure lounge and he walked toward her.


To be continued... maybe.

The Melody Lingers On

I am the first to admit that the plotlines for most Broadway Musicals are usually a little thin and that not a few are just not that memorable. But for me, there are a few that rise to the top and which stand the test of time. Surprisingly, none of these four shows have much plot at all. In fact, Barnum, Wicked, Chicago and Cabaret are really very episodic in nature. But for each show, there is something elusive that holds everything together and makes being there in the theater in the darkness of the audience a thrilling experience.

Of course, there is the music and the memorable lyrics. Great Broadway songs create these wonderfully memorable moments. Long after the final curtain has fallen, the melody and the words stay with us, because we can still picture the characters and the setting and the moment we first heard their song. I remember especially the scene near the end of Wicked, in which Elphaba tells her friend that she had left "...a handprint on her heart..." and that her life had been irrevocably changed... that "... [Elphaba] ha[d] been changed for the better... ha[d] been changed for good." Phineas T. Barnum is a delightfully drawn character and he is able to express the wonderful sentiment that so many men feel about their spouses.

"We're out of step
We disagree.
What's right for you, is wrong for me.
I wonder how we made it down the aisle.
But I like your style.
I like your style."

Sometimes all the elements come together is a delicious blend of dance, music, scenery and storytelling. Wicked does exactly that. The scenery is imaginative. The major characters evolve and change and come to terms with the world. Fiyero, Glinda and Elphaba come from different directions but find out that in our lives, very few things that we want are exactly what we originally believe them to be. And when Elphaba finds her own voice as an individual at the end of the first act, in the song "Defying Gravity" the theatrical moment is simply exhilerating, as she rises above the stage in her moment of defiance against the Wizard.

Of course, Chicago and Cabaret have a flavor all their own. In Chicago, the good guys are few and far between. Roxie, Velma... hell, all of the characters except for Amos, possess less than sterling qualities. But they are the folks you have to love as much as you have to dislike them. There is something deliciously wicked about them. We are enthralled by people like that. Like them, even we sometimes get caught up in "...all that jazz.."

I especially love the moment in Chicago when Roxie sings "Me and My Baby." Out in the audience, all of us knew she was lying through her teeth, playing to the press... selling her personna like a performer on the stage. And I loved it and I loved seeing her pull it off. Nothing is quite so entertaining as to watch a Roxie pull off a really huge scam really successfully. It is awful and wonderful in the same moment.

I probably should have included such shows as A Chorus Line and Cats in my list of most memorable shows. In A Chorus Line, three of the dancers perform the hauntingly sad song, "What I did for Love" and force us to reach into our own memories.

"What I did for love,
The sweetness and the sorrow,
I did what I had to do.
But I won't regret
What I did for love, What I did for love.

Look, my eyes are dry.
The gift was ours to borrow.
Wish me luck, the same to you.
Won't regret, can't forget,
What I did for love.
What I did for love.
What I did for love."

The final production number in A Chorus Line certainly ranks as one of the must see moments in Broadway musicals. The dancing and the constumes in Cats are unforgetable. Anyone who has ever heard Elaine Paige perform "Memories", the signature song from Cats, knows that from the first hearing, the song is hauntingly embedded in one's own memory.

I like to say that I have learned a lot about what I know about life from Broadway show tunes. And I must also say that I have enjoyed some of my most supreme moments of pleasure when I have had the privilege of sitting out there in the audience at performances of these shows. Believe me folks, it doesn't get much better than that.

Two Thoughts for the Day: September 10, 2006

The Dynamics of our Life

Throughout our lives each of us is a work in progress. We grow. We change over time. Every day, we slowly evolve into a somewhat different person than we were the day before. And while all this is happening, each day, we are hoping and praying that the choices we make are the ones we need to be making... that the course that we are charting for our life is the one which will take us in time to the places we need to be going.

Something Found, Something Lost

Sometimes we experience these "aha!" moments when we have a piercing insight into ourselves or into how the world works. That happened to me tonight when I was driving over to a friend's house to take him some camera equipment. Unfortunately, when I got over to his house and had spent some time visiting there, I lost the thought. I guess worse things have happened to me. But still, I felt a small sense of loss.

Each day I have new experiences and I see and hear things which I had not observed before. Giving some thought to these new experiences, I am able to understand a little more about myself and about the world in which I exist. With each new insight I am able to grow, to better cope and to more skillfully navigate the situations I will have to deal with. Sometimes I had to paid very dearly for a particular bit of insight and wisdom that I have collected. So you will understand if I feel regret or loss when memory fails me and I lose a thought or an idea that I may need to remember all too soon. It is almost as if I have lost a little bit of myself.

Has that ever happened to you?