Culled From A Greeting Card...

To the world, you are just one person.
But to one person out there, you are the world.

Anonymous

Cultural Literacy - January 10, 2006

Ferociously Focused

My wife listens to books on tape and on cd while she rides to and from work. While Marilyn and I were out the other day, we listened to one of those cds. I think the book was A Change of Heart. One character was talking about a good friend of hers who was enormously successful in the publication game. She described her friend to be "ferociously focused." Every once in awhile, an author will coin a phrase that beautifully captures an idea in an extraordinary way. "Ferociously focused" is one wonderful example of that happening.

Looking at those people who are really successful in their lives, I have discerned that this is one of the most important qualities that they exhibit, along with having a very high level of self-discipline. Both of my daughters and my oldest brother possess these qualities. Because they do, they are able to screen out the deafening din of cultural and commercial noise that clutters the newstands, computers, cell phones and the visual media today. These people are definitely not couch potatoes. People who possess these qualities are pretty rare. They are what I call the "Golden Men and Women" of the world and great things seem to happen for them more often than they do for the rest of us.

For the greater part of my life, I suffered from ADD. A few years ago, my therapist suggested I get on a mild anti-depressant medication, because those drugs can help to deal with ADD. Long story short, I did and my life turned around almost overnight and for the first time in my life, I was finally able to stay focused on one single activity. I had not been able to do that in the past. So I have seen both sides of this matter of staying focused personally. Finally, I am able to get a better understanding of a part of what separates the "Golden People" and everyone else.

Frankly speaking, American society and culture doesn't seem to place much value to the ability to stay focused and to possess self-discipline. In fact, the dynamic character of our society seems to throw all kinds of obstacles in the way of people who strive to develop these qualities. If the distractions of television, radio, telephones, cell phones and computer games were not enough, the accelerating fusion of consumer electronic devices and the advertising and entertainment media is complicating this problem even more. Hand-held devices like cell phones and microcomputers enable a person to send emails, watch movies, watch music videos, take pictures, listen to music and text message someone, if he or she chooses to. Now there are far fewer places on this planet where we can escape this deluge of information and entertainment. Now there are far fewer places where we can enjoy a quiet moment or hear ourselves think.

All these technological developments are euphemistically called progress. However, if you think about it, to call it progress is almost a contradiction of the reality of the situation. All these new bells and whistles on the gizmos, that now clutter our lives, seem to have a lot of downsides to them. We are forced to flee to the few refuges of quiet in our universe that still exist, like our own room, a religious sanctuary or a library, maybe, to escape these disturbing distractions.

If anything, the situation will probably only get worse over the long haul. There are still going to be people who have the capacity to be ferociously focused. Just fewer of them, as "Progress" takes it's toll.

I am working on developing that capacity to stay focused. But to do that, I will have to sacrifice doing a lot of the things I would really like to be doing, like plopping myself in front of the tv and vegging out or just randomly surfing the net. There are too many things I want to accomplish and the siren call of all the sights and sounds coming out of all these electronic wonders can be very addictive and totally overwhelming. I am going to have to make some tough calls and I probably won't be hugely happy about the limitations these decisions will impose on me. Well nothing is free. I just have to deal with the situation as best I can. That's life, eh?

One Moment in Time

Our lives hinge on pivotal moments. In a moment, we can begin to drift and to move in a direction that will ultimately lead us to disasterous events. In a moment, a person can enter our lives... a person who will bring great joy and happiness. That person could be our future spouse or a child or someone who will become our cherished friend. In a pivotal moment, whether we live or die will hang in the balance and the outcome can randomly go either way.

I had just taken my youngest daughter and her husband to the airport and was on the way home. I took the tollway, it was the fastest way to get home. We had spent a very busy 6 or 7 days trying to do all the packing and to tie up all the loose ends for the kids. I was exhausted and that day, last Wednesday, my exhaustion caught up with me. Most of the way home, I was very groggy and had to force myself to stay awake. As I approached the interchange to get on another freeway, I fell asleep.

I was jarred awake as I was thrown forward and then yanked back by my seatbelt. I woke up to see steam or mist coming off the engine and I realized that the air bag has activated. Somewhat in shock, I tried to figure out where I was and what had happened. Somehow I was able to understand I needed to get out of the car quickly, in case the car burst into flame or exploded.
I released the seat belt, opened my door and quickly got out. The front of my car was crushed in. The windshield had shattered and the dashboard had broken into two parts.

I walked away from the wreck alive. Somehow I had survived the crash with only a bit of bruising.

My wife was driving another auto behind me. I phoned her on my cell phone and advised her what had happend. She pulled in behind my car in a couple of minutes. The police came and assessed the accident scene. The officer issued me a ticket, the car was towed to my mechanic's shop and somewhat shaken, my wife and I went home.

For a day or two, my life came to a crashing halt. I was unable to function at all. It was as if I was living in a mental fog. I told everyone that I was just fine, but I really wasn't. l still was not able to face the fact that I could have died in that accident or could have been seriously injured. That moment of realization came on Friday night and I wrote a friend of mine that I had experienced a brush with death.

I wasn't sure why I was still alive or why I had been allowed to walk away from such a catastrophic collision. Some greater power had ordained that it was not my time to die, I think. I have to believe that there was a message in all this. That greater power was telling me that I had not completed whatever mission I was expected to finish during my life. That I was still needed here, in the world of the living, to continue to make a difference, if only for a brief amount of time. That I had been given an extraordinary opportunity to live out the rest of my life.

I had read that the people that survived the collapse of the World Trade Center towers experienced something of the same feelings. That they had been spared from the fate of those who had died infused the survivors with a new sense of purpose and a new appreciation of what it means to be alive. When I read that, intellectually I sort understood the emotions they were experiencing at the time in 2001.

This is 2007 and a few days ago I had my own brush with death. Now I know that, in a heartbeat, my life can be cut short. Now I really understand what they were telling me. Cherish life. That spark of awareness that we call life is a gift, a precious gift. We need to be watchfully aware of what we are doing with our lives and how what we do will impact our lives. Living recklessly or foolishly... not listening to my body when it told me that I was too tired to be driving my car safely... jeopardized my very existence.

When I realized it was my own carelessness that had almost killed me, I began to see every new minute and hour and day in a new light. I do not know how long I will live. But each new moment means so much more to me now. Each new moment is an opportunity for me to become the person I was meant to become (which I sense I have not yet achieved.) Each new moment is an opportunity to do some good in my world in my world. Each new moment is yet another chance to love and be loved by the people I cherish most. Each new day for me is now a miracle I must treat as a treasure, which I couldn't buy if I wanted to. Each new day can only be received as a priceless gift from some higher power. One of these days, there will be no more new days for me. At journey's, because of this new insight, I will be eternally thankful for having been allowed to have taken life's journey, to have enjoyed the warmth and love of the people I cherish.

Long story short, after this accident, I now can begin to understand what is truly important and necessary to complete the remainder of my journey. I am still a bit shaken by the experience. But before long I will be able to move on. However, from now on I will be giving careful thought as what I will choose to do with however much time I have left. Mindful that I cannot know when my life will end, I have to make the day in which I am living count for something worthwhile.

Our lives can hinge on a single moment. We cannot know when our final moment will be. A few days ago, I experienced one of those pivotal moments. I am thankful beyond all measure that I am still alive. I was given the opportunity to live yet one more day. I hope, when people look back on my life, they will conclude that I was worthy of receiving such a precious gift.

Kindest regards,

Howard Fireman

I'm Back... Finally

To my dear readers...

I am finally able to write again with regularity. I very much apologize for my absence. I have experienced a lot of changes in my life over the last month or so... life-changing events which alter one's life irrevocably. It wasn't just one thing at a time. Everything sort of just happened all at once and for awhile, I couldn't function very well. Life happened in a big way.

The company I worked for was sold, and all of us in the Houston office did not have very many good alternate options. My youngest daughter and her husband moved to London to do graduate study, so this town now seems not a little empty. I damaged my wife's Honda and it is now in the shop. And last Wednesday, I fell asleep at the wheel and totalled my own automobile. For the moment, I am still without a job. So there you have it. Just about the time I was able to psychologically deal with one issue, I was hit with another... and another... and another.

I am finally coming to terms with the last auto accident, grateful to be alive and grateful for each new day now. I am very grateful also that my head has cleared and I am able to think with some clarity and able to once again move on with my life. To be sure, I have not fully recovered psychologically from the auto accident, but that will happen over time.

I am extremely grateful that I have the strength and inclination to sit down and post my thoughts once again to my blog. This is one of the several things in my life that are truly pleasurable and which enable me to feel alive once again. And I am most thankful I am alive today.

Thank you for returning as a visitor. You are always welcome to insidemyworldhfireman.blogspot.com.

Kindest regards,

Howard Fireman