Living Life from a Different Angle

I used to post an entry to this blog every night. Well past the time I should have gone to sleep, I was sitting here at my computer, working on my latest piece. It was as if it was something I had to do... as if it was a compulsion to write something every day. And occasionally I wrote something that was modestly profound and even good.

Now I don't write very often. I do not post entries to my blog so often as I used to. I am so busy these days that I don't even have time to think about random things, much less about what is happening in my life. I sort of know in what direction I am headed, but I actually have to set aside time now to think about what I am doing with my life and why I am doing it.

But that is not an entirely bad state of affairs. Now I am very focused each day on living each day as opposed to just thinking about what that feels like. And in doing so, I have very little disposable time to stand on the sidelines and observe humanity and the world. I have a business to build, relationships I need to sustain and still be able to keep my own personal affairs in order. I no longer have the time or the inclination to try to solve the world's problems.

That doesn't mean you will not begin to see new postings to this small corner of the internet. In fact, you can count on me making time to write again. Now each moment of each day becomes infinitely more precious. I am already what they euphemistically call a "senior citizen" so I know that sooner than later I am going to kick the bucket. But before I do, I have my short list of things I want to have done. One of those things on the list is to write a few short stories and maybe fit in writing a larger literary project into my schedule. Being a busy person does not preclude me from setting aside time for those things which are really important to me.

That is the real irony of transforming myself into one of those people who is actively pursuing some goals to accomplish. Up to a year or two ago, I plenty of time on my hands. But I foolishly squandered it and time once past can never be reclaimed. Now that I have essentially no free time, somehow or other I am able to squeeze in doing some of the things about which I am truly passionate. I have come to realize that not only is it not possible to have or to do everything we desire, but that it is not even a good idea.

It took me a long time to figure all this out. But at least I did. I can't change the bad choices I made in the past. I cannot undo the mistakes I made. However, I have no regrets about whatever happened to me in the past. My life is what it is. I am approaching life from a different angle now. The things I encounter make more sense to me now and I can usually maneuver around the pitfalls that derailed me so often in the past. I harbor few illusions about life anymore. And my life is better. You might say to me, "Well, sir. You should have figured all this out a long time ago." To which I would say that you are probably right. I should have. But at least I did, even though it was at this late date.